The First Noël
by infamouschelsea
Summary: As told by Grace, this is the story of two special Christmases. Set in 1989 and 2012, the Greys are preparing for their first holidays as a new and expanding family.
1. 1989

**Disclaimer: Most of the characters in this story are those from the Fifty Shades Trilogy. They remain the rightful property of E L James. Recognisable brands, places, music or films remain the property of their owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

 **Hello Lovelies,**

 **I hope this short story reaches you in good health and happiness. This is just a two-chapter story, a little something for the festive period. I really hope you enjoy it. (Please check the summary above to know what this story is about - it saves me inserting it here!)**

 **I'd like to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas. I hope the holiday season brings you love, light and plenty of laughter.**

 **Thank you for reading.**

 **Much Love,**

 **Chelsea x**

* * *

 **1989**

"Grace, darling, I think we have enough decorations." Cary's signature chuckle worked its way up to me, but I wasn't having an inch of what he was saying.

"There is no such thing as having enough decorations," I huffed, shooting him a stern look from my position at the top of the stepladder. "Just as there is no such thing as having too many presents. Or maybe I should return yours to the store?"

"Hey –" he jerked his head back and broke into a roar of a laugh. "I didn't say anything about presents. I just think we can lay off the lights now. Our electricity bill is going to be through the roof in the new year."

"And?" I shrugged my shoulders. "We can afford it. The firm is doing great since we moved here and I just got promoted at the hospital. We're hardly struggling, Cary."

I climbed down the ladder and took a step back to admire my handiwork. Our 7ft tree was alive with twinkling lights, each branch adorned with a gold or silver ornament. Admittedly, it was a little on the larger side and we struggled to manoeuvre it into the house, but it's Christmas. However, I do wish we hadn't waited until Christmas Eve to put up the tree, but our schedules just wouldn't allow us to erect it sooner. Carrick has been in and out of court all week and I was in work until 6am this morning. Now, it is a manic rush to get everything in order.

"Right, do you think we need some more lights at the top?" I asked. "It's looking a little sparse on the left side."

"It's fine," Cary sighed. "You're worrying about nothing. Look at this place. It's like an elf exploded in here."

I cast a quick eye around the sitting room and even I have to admit it is looking rather festive. Thick green and red garlands were strung around the fireplace, oversized stockings hanging from it, each of our names embroidered on the fronts. I had even put some fake snow around the hearth, thinking I will use Cary's hiking boots to make it look like Santa had brought it in on his feet.

Proud of my efforts, I glanced up at my husband and smirked at his expression. I slipped my arm around his waist and dropped my head onto his chest.

"It's a good job I love you, Grace Trevelyan," he quietly laughed, his hand gripping my shoulder. I felt him kiss the top of my head.

"I just want this Christmas to be extra special," I said. "It's our first holiday in this house. Our first in Seattle."

"And it will be special no matter what," he assured me. "You know the kids are happy with whatever we do."

"It's our first Christmas as a proper family," I shrugged against him. "Just the five of us. A complete family."

He hugged me a little tighter as I said this, his spicy cologne tickling my nose.

"So, we're done now then?" he asked.

"I think so," I nodded. "I'm happy with three. Three is a good number."

"I meant the decorations, not kids," he snorted. I pushed him away and shook my head. He was always the joker. "Seriously, Grace, you didn't need to go to all this effort. Mia is too small to take any of this in."

"I know that, but I still want to make it special for Elliot and Christian," I reminded him. "They're older now, they get to enjoy it more than they used to."

The past six months have been intense, I cannot deny that. Our lives had been uprooted and we made the move from our home in Detroit to a better life in Seattle. Carrick was in line to take over a legal firm out here and it was an opportunity we couldn't pass up. I pulled a few strings and secured myself a job at the children's hospital, and the boys seemed happy enough with the move. Elliot had always been an easy-going boy, but I thought Christian would find the move stressful. I was surprised when he seemed to take it in his stride. I wondered, briefly, if he was happy to finally be away from the city of his birth – the place of his horrific torture before we found him.

When we arrived in Seattle, it wasn't long before our social worker contacted us with news of a little girl in need of fostering. She had been abandoned by her birth mother and we were only supposed to look after her for a short time, just until a forever home was found for her. I think our social worker knew all along that I wouldn't be able to give the baby up. I fell in love with Mia the second I had her in my arms. I knew she was mine. The adoption papers were filed and confirmed eight weeks ago. My dark-haired, brown-eyed daughter is nine months old and the talk of the town. Everyone is entranced by her, but there's a copper-haired boy who is most enamoured with my daughter.

Christian has doted on Mia since the day she was dropped off. Knowing instantly that I wasn't going to give her up, I introduced Mia to her big brothers and watched as they interacted with her. While Elliot was impressed by his sister's arrival, Christian was obsessed with her. He stayed by her side, didn't like being separated from her, not even for a minute. He would happily stand at her side and watch her for hours on end. She had captured his heart but, more crucially, she gave him a voice. Christian had been silent since I had first seen him, when he arrived at the hospital and was placed under my care. He never spoke a word, didn't speak at all for the two years leading up to Mia's arrival. We never found out exactly what he had endured with his birth mother, but it was enough to scar him both physically and mentally. The only sounds we heard him make was the howling cries we'd hear from his bedroom in the dead of night.

He wouldn't even let us hold him, comfort him out of his nightmares. He still wouldn't let us touch him, not properly. But Mia is slowly bringing him out of his shell. He is no longer the shy boy who cowers in corners.

A few weeks ago, I heard Christian's first words. He is six and a half years old.

I was alone with the children, trying to keep them entertained while juggling some paperwork for a lecture I was scheduled to present on childhood diseases. Elliot was busy running around the house, pretending to fight evil mermaids who had taken over the Sound. Mia was asleep in her bouncing chair, Christian sitting on the floor next to her. He was flicking through a picture book, but he spent most of his time looking at Mia. I had set up camp on the couch, cocooning myself in my files and notes. I left Christian and Mia alone for a few minutes, five max, so I could use the bathroom. When I returned, I heard a soft voice filling the room.

"It's okay," Christian whispered. I peeked my head around the door and saw him leaning over Mia, his hand resting on her stomach. Her face was red and scrunched up, a warning that she would need changing very soon. "It's okay. You don't need to cry."

I was utterly dumbstruck by the sound of his voice. It was angelic, ethereal. It made my chest swell and burn with a newfound sense of love and admiration for this tiny human. I tried to compose myself before I entered the room again. I didn't want to draw too much attention to what I had witnessed, knowing that the key to Christian's development was to take things slow and steady. We couldn't rush or overwhelm him.

"Oh dear, what's wrong with Miss Mia?" I hummed as I stepped into the room. I came to Christian's side and crouched down next to him. I sniffed the air and shook my head. "Oh, I think someone needs changing."

Christian leaned back and edged away from me. I turned to look at him and caught his eyes, those round grey irises of his staring back at me with intrigue. I resisted the sudden urge to run my fingers down his cheek.

"Christian, sweetie, would you like to help me change Mia?" I asked him, softening my voice. He didn't respond. "We all know how much she cries when we undress her, but she is calm when she's around you."

He shot her a glance, unsure of whether to agree or not.

"Do you want to help me?" I pressed on. He gulped and slowly nodded his head, his eyes asking me what to do next. "Can you fetch me her bag from the hallway?" I pointed to the door behind us. "Do you know which bag is Mia's?"

He nodded again and climbed to his feet. He walked silently, appearing a moment later with the large purple bag trailing on the carpet. He struggled to lift it up and held it out to me. Our fingers grazed as I took it from him and I was amazed when he didn't shy away from my touch, like he had done in the past.

I made quick work of Mia's diaper, asking Christian to pass me various items from the bag and even helping me button up her sleepsuit afterwards. He seemed to enjoy the responsibility and I made a mental note to include Christian more than I had already, give him tasks centred around Mia.

As I bagged up the dirty diaper I caught him mumbling something to himself.

"You have such a beautiful voice, Christian," I whispered, mimicking his tone. I brought my head closer to his and smiled at him. "Mia loves the sound of your voice. You stopped her from crying when I went to the bathroom, didn't you?"

His chest rose with a deep breath and he shrugged his shoulders, looking so much like Elliot in that moment.

"Do you think Mia would like to hear you sing?"

"I…" he lifted his chin quickly. His eyes widened and he shook his head. "I… I can't sing."

 _Oh my boy… You're talking. Finally!_

"But everyone can sing," I replied. My voice was shaking with pride at this milestone. "Darling, I am sure that you have a wonderful singing voice… It'll be just you and me. We could try singing a nursery rhyme?"

"Twinkle Twinkle?" he mumbled.

"You want to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?" I asked. He nodded. "That is a brilliant choice!"

I had recently started teaching Christian how to play the rhyme on the piano. I began teaching him how to play a while ago, after noticing his fascination with the monochrome keys that each make a different sound.

"I don't know how to sing," he sighed, his tiny voice quivering.

"Just copy me," I shook my head. "It'll be okay. Just follow my lead and you'll pick it up, I promise."

I wished so hard that I could wrap him up in my arms, longing to hug him. I hoped in time he would allow us to touch him, show him the full-force of our love and affection.

I started singing, slow at first, trying to coax him into joining me. I sang the rhyme twice before he finally chimed in. I don't know how many times we sang that song, but with each repetition he began to relax and sing with ease. I even saw a crack of a smile on his rosy lips.

"Wow, you were amazing!" I grinned, beaming from ear to ear. "And it wasn't hard at all, was it?"

He shook his head.

"And Mia clearly loved it," I nodded to her. Her eyes were firmly shut, her black lashes fanning across her cheeks.

"She liked it?" Christian asked. He stepped forward and peered over Mia. He looked confused. "She's sleeping."

"You sang her a lullaby," I told him. "You sang so beautifully that she fell asleep. That's what babies do."

"She liked me," he whispered to himself, another smile radiating from him.

"She loves you. And so do I," I reminded him. I tell him a hundred times a day just how much I love him, afraid that he will think otherwise. "We all love you so much, Christian. And we would love it if you kept talking to us. We want to hear your lovely voice. Do you think you can do that?"

He rocked on the spot, pondering the idea, but then nodded at me. His fringe flopped against his forehead, sticking in his eyes for a minute before he swiped it to the side. A quick trim would solve that, but I know he isn't ready to have fingers scraping through his hair. Maybe if he saw me having my hair cut first…

I walked into the adjoining kitchen and dumped the waste in the trashcan. I'm glad we decided to merge the two rooms together, to create one big living space. In the future I imagine we will separate the rooms again, but for now I love the homely feel. This is our forever home. Our family home.

I was just about to return to the couch when I felt a tug on my shirt. I spun around and found Christian at my side, staring up at me, his head only just in line with my hip.

"Are you okay, darling?"

He picked at the hem of his shirt.

"C-Can I have some food, please?" he asked, his eyes shooting in the direction of the fridge.

"Of course you can!" I announced eagerly, glad he had asked. There was a time he would rummage in the cabinets and hide food under his bed, keeping stores so he would never go hungry. "I'll get you whatever you want. Do you want a sandwich? Or maybe you would like some of Daddy's special cookies…"

"Cookies," he gasped, his gaze lighting up and becoming brighter than I had ever seen.

I wished I could bottle up the happiness I saw in his eyes in that moment. It was a rarity, a glimpse and you'll miss it moment. Like a shooting star darting across the night sky. A glimmer of hope that he will one day find the inner peace he deserves…

I'm pulled from my reverie with a sudden nudge in my side. I startled and almost pulled my neck as I yanked my head in the direction of the jab. My husband's mischievous face stared back at me.

"Earth to Gracie," he laughed, waving his hand in front of my face. "You were miles away. I've been talking to you for the past five minutes, but I don't think you heard a word I said!"

I smirked at him and shook my head.

"It can't have been interesting then," I winked. I planted a kiss on his cheek and ascended the ladder once again. "Now, quit your moaning and pass me some more lights. I want them to see our house from space by the time I'm finished."

Cary obliged and brought me another round of lights, holding them up to me.

"I think the kids will be back in about an hour," I hummed. I had carted them off to my parents' house for the afternoon. They had decided to join us in Seattle a month after we moved, wanting to be closer to the kids.

"Grace, do you think Christian will be okay?" he asked me. I glanced down at him and frowned, not sure what he meant by that. "I worry about him sometimes. He doesn't interact with people the same way other kids do."

"Christian isn't like _other kids_ ," I retorted, a tad sterner than I should have. "He's doing fine. My mom and dad are great with him. Dad, especially. If there were any problems, Dad would have called me."

He sighed but agreed with me on that point.

"I just want him to be happy, that's all. He's such a quiet boy," he grimaced, sadness engulfing his handsome features.

"He'll get there," I promised. He has yet to hear Christian talk, only me and Mia have been privileged enough to hear his voice. "It'll take time but, one day, I'm sure he will be happiest boy in the world. All we have to do is continue as we are, making sure that he knows he is loved and protected."

* * *

Christmas morning started at 6am, thanks to Elliot storming into our bedroom, screaming at the top of his lungs. He jumped on top of me and Carrick, shaking us, demanding that we wake up that second. At eight years old, Elliot was starting to fill out and looked older than his years. He was destined to be a tall boy, his shoulders already broadening.

I sat up and smiled at Christian, who was waiting patiently at the door. He and Elliot were wearing matching pyjamas, red and green for the festive season.

Carrick groaned and tumbled out of bed, trying to contain Elliot's enthusiasm. He stretched out and said good morning to both boys, before escorting Elliot to the bathroom.

"Not until you have brushed your teeth, young man," Cary ordered, taking Elliot by the shoulders and weaving him past Christian. "Merry Christmas, son," he hummed at our silent boy.

"I know you will have already cleaned your teeth," I said to Christian as I heaved back the covers and climbed out of bed. He came over to me and stretched his lips wide, showing me his perfectly white teeth. "Wow, so impressive… Merry Christmas, sweetheart."

"Merry Christmas," he whispered.

I turned back to my bedside table and picked up the baby monitor. I listened out and heard Mia's rhythmic breaths. She was still fast asleep.

"Can you hear Mia sleeping?" I held the monitor to Christian's ear. He nodded. "I think we should let her sleep a little longer, don't you?"

He nodded again.

"Shall we go downstairs with Daddy and Elliot? See if Santa paid us a visit last night?"

I held out my hand to him, palm facing up, and wondered if he would be brave enough to offer me his hand.

I almost cried when he slid his fingers across my palm.

We walked downstairs and waited by the kitchen door until Cary and Elliot joined us. The kids were tired when they came back from my parents last night, so we shepherded them to bed without showing them the decorations. I thought it would make a nice surprise, to see the room transformed overnight into a winter wonderland.

I was right. As usual.

"Wow!" Elliot gasped as he rushed inside and made a beeline for the tree. His hands covered his cheeks, his blue gaze darting all over the place. "Mommy, Daddy, look at all the presents!"

"Wow," Cary and I repeated, sharing a look between ourselves. He winked at me. "I guess everyone in this house has been good, for Santa to have brought all of this to us last night."

"We got so many presents, Christian!" Elliot turned to his brother, who was gripping my hand, unable to let go.

Christian cracked a little smile as he looked around the room. This is his second Christmas with us – last year we spoiled him but it was too much for him to enjoy, it overwhelmed him and he was scared.

"Daddy, which presents are mine?" Elliot tugged on Cary's arm, his cheeky smile up near his ears.

"I think these are yours, buddy." Cary led Elliot across the room, to where his gifts were piled up. "Why don't we see what Santa got you, huh?"

I stepped over to the tree, Christian following in my shadow, to the small mountain of gifts sitting under it. We had learnt from last year to always separate their presents to save anyone or anything being trampled. Elliot is a boisterous child.

"Have I got presents?" Christian mumbled. I brought myself to his level and tried to study his tired, confused expression.

Keeping up the pretence, I peered over the gifts and pretended to check the labels. I nodded my head.

"They're all yours," I confirmed to him.

"All of them?" he mouthed, his jaw hanging open.

"They have your name on them."

"For me?" he uttered, staring at the pile. "Can I open them?"

"Of course you can, you don't need to ask." I gave him a gentle smile. "Why don't you pick one to open while I grab my camera?"

He picked up a box from the top of the pile and sat down on the floor with it. I quickly rushed into the kitchen and picked up not just one camera, but three. I had bought huge packs of film, wanting to capture every second of the day. I set up the film and began snapping pictures of Elliot and Cary, and then panned back to the tree. I stared at Christian through the viewfinder and my lips tore into a huge grin as he examined his first gift.

It was one of the smaller, less expensive gifts we had bought him. When I saw it in the toy store, I couldn't resist picking one up for Christian. It was made for him. A stuffed bear wearing blue pyjamas, the fur soft and caramel coloured. On the bear's right hand was a yellow star, a smiling face in the centre of it. When pressed, it played Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

Christian fussed over the bear, turning it around in his hands, feeling the different textures of the fur, clothes and star. He jumped as he found the hidden button and the bear sang our favourite nursery rhyme back to him.

He slowly met my eyes and I melted, thinking he was going to start crying.

"Oh, darling –" I lowered the cameras and quickly went to his side, dropping to my knees. "Christian, don't you like it?"

He nodded his head, dispelling that concern, but he continued to stare at the bear. He held it for a moment and then passed it to me. It was as if he wanted me to take it away from him – not that he didn't want it, but he wanted to give it away before we stole it.

"No, baby, it's your bear," I shook my head, passing it back to him. "He's all yours."

"Really?"

"Yes, really," I nodded. "Christian, these are your toys. No one is going to take them away from you."

"Not even Lelliot?" he mumbled.

"Not even Elliot," I said. I couldn't help but smile at his moniker for his older brother. "No one is ever going to take anything from you again. I will make sure of that."

"Promise?"

"I promise," I swore.

He paused and then hugged the bear to his chest, squeezing it against him. He dropped his chin onto the bear's head and whispered something, a secret to his new friend.

"Are you going to name him?" I asked.

He nodded his head. "Starry."

"That's a lovely name," I smiled, my cheeks warming and no doubt turning rosy.

He sat there hugging his bear for a little while longer, even tolerated me taking a few pictures of him with his toy. He eventually set it down and turned his attention to his other presents, but only after I promised to keep an eye on Starry and make sure he didn't disappear.

"Thank you, Mommy," Christian hummed, lifting to his feet and choosing his next present from the bottom of the pile.

 _Mommy_.

My heart pounded in my chest.

He has never called me that before.

Tears streamed down my face, despite my best efforts to stifle them. From across the room I caught Cary's steely gaze. He frowned and silently asked if I was okay. I waved my hand at him, assuring him I was fine.

I was more than okay. I was finally Christian's mommy.

I picked Starry up from the floor and held him against my heart, hugging that bear as hard as I could. I hoped one day that I would have Christian in my arms, but until that day I was more than content with simply being his mother.


	2. 2012

**Disclaimer: Most of the characters in this story are those from the Fifty Shades Trilogy. They remain the rightful property of E L James. Recognisable brands, places, music or films remain the property of their owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

* * *

 **(This is the second and final chapter of this story. Again, I hope you enjoy it! Much Love x)**

* * *

 **2012**

A lazy smile crept over my lips as I felt a familiar hand sliding across my waist. I was slowly pulled from sleep, my eyes sealed shut for just a minute longer.

"Good morning, my darling." His soft, velvet voice hummed in my ear. His fingers hooked onto my hip and he pulled me into his chest. "It's time to wake up."

I moaned and pushed myself deep into the mattress, tugging the covers higher around myself. His smooth, freshly shaved cheek rubbed against mine. I could smell peppermint on his breath.

"Just five more minutes," I grumbled. I opened my eyes and was blinded by the light flooding our bedroom.

He has always woken early on Christmas morning, has never shaken off the habit from when our children were young. They have long been adults and moved into their own homes.

Well, Mia is the exception, of course. She will still be living with us when she's forty!

Yawning, I stretched out my toes and rolled onto my back. I turned my head towards him and found his bright and wide eyes staring back at me.

"What time is it?" I mumbled, a shiver coursing through me.

"Almost 9am," he smirked, his crooked smile making my stomach clench. Even with his salt and pepper hair and the fine lines around his eyes, he will always be breath-taking to me. Forever the 18-year-old who coiffed his hair and gave me as much charm as he could muster. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't let you sleep in any longer. I'm itching to break into my presents."

Nine o'clock was too early for me, seeing as I didn't roll into bed until five. I wasn't supposed to work last night but an emergency call dragged me to the hospital, a seven year old boy hit by a drunk driver. I stayed until dawn, seeing my patient through the worst, only leaving when I knew he was going to be okay.

I shook my head at Carrick and rolled my eyes.

"You're always so impatient," I giggled, swatting his shoulder with the back of my hand. "Honestly, you are worse than all three of our kids combined!"

"You wouldn't have me any other way," he retorted.

And he was right. I hope he never changes.

Cary sat upright and fixed his collar. He was already dressed for the day, wearing a crisp, sky-blue shirt with charcoal slacks. My eyes were drawn to his tie, the tackiest thing I have ever seen in my life. Bright green and covered in images of Santa, reindeer and elves. It is hideous. It is almost twenty years old and was a spoof gift from me and the kids, but the joke was definitely on us. He insists on wearing it every year, just to spite me.

"Come on, get up before I drag you off the bed," he ordered, winking at me. "The troops are arriving at eleven."

Being reminded of that, I threw back the covers and forced myself out, trying to ignore the heaviness settling in my muscles. My veins buzzed with the knowledge that in just a few hours the house would be loud with laughter. Christmas has always been my favourite time of year and I always strived to make each holiday bigger and better than the previous year.

Last year Carrick and I welcomed two new faces into the family festivities: Anastasia and Kate. Christian's wife and Elliot's fiancé brought a new lease of life into our household, a breath of fresh air.

This year, however, a very special face will be joining us. He is the newest member of the Trevelyan-Grey family and merely thinking about him brought a grin to my lips. I couldn't wait to have him in my arms, my nose full of his wonderful scent, a heady mix of baby powder and milk…

I sighed and walked across the bedroom, picking up my silk robe from the chaise lounge.

"I'll make you a cup of coffee," Cary said as he edged towards the door. "Or would you prefer something stronger? Is it too early for a glass of champagne?"

I looked over my shoulder to him and arched my brow.

"Darling, when is it ever too early for champagne?"

* * *

I pulled my coat together, trying my best to ward off the icy chill whipping through the air. I lifted onto my toes to gain a better look, my eyes trained on the end of the driveway.

"Mom, you'll catch your death waiting out here –"

Elliot walked up to me and threw his bulky arm around my shoulders, drawing me into his side to share his body heat. He rubbed my arm and hugged me tight.

"They should be here any minute now," I said, a slight quiver in my voice.

"Christian is capable of letting himself in," Elliot snorted. "He does have a key, you know? You're going to freeze out here."

"You didn't mind when I waited for you to arrive," I reminded him. I neglected to add that he and Kate actually made it on time. For once.

"Well, that was different," he shrugged.

"How so?" I angled my head back and stared up at him. His hair had been clipped shorter than usual, his slight curl no longer visible. It made him look older, but I knew his boyish charm was still lurking behind those baby blue eyes.

"I'm your favourite, I thought that was obvious?" he grinned wildly, his cheeks pinched by his dimples as he broke into a laugh. I poked him in the ribs. "I'm kidding!"

"You know I don't have favourites," I shook my head. "I love all of you exactly the same."

"I don't think that's strictly true," he pursed his lips at me. I was about to question him but he continued. "You love Teddy way more than you love the rest of us. Don't even try to deny it!"

A laugh escaped me and his point was confirmed.

My grandson has a special place in my heart.

Sometimes I have to pinch myself, I cannot believe that I am a grandmother. There were times when I didn't think I would even become a mother, let alone be someone's Grandma.

 _Grandma Grace_. It's perhaps my most treasured role to date.

Discovering that I was going to become a grandmother did come as a shock, that I will attest to. I didn't know what to say or think, a part of me worried that it was too soon for Christian and Ana to start a family. They had only been married for five minutes. On top of that, there was the news of Mia's abduction, the blackmail for her release, and then Ana's attack. Time seemed to standstill, the world swaying off balance as new revelations came into focus. I learned about the pregnancy when Christian called me to the hospital, telling me that Ana had been injured. Once I knew Mia was safe and well, I rushed to his side. He told me about his fight with Ana, his reaction at hearing her news. He ran away from her and the baby and whilst I understood his trepidation – after all, he has never coped well with sudden change – I was disappointed that he had left his wife when she needed him the most. But as he told me what had unfolded, I realised that he was brave and strong enough to adjust to his impending parenthood. I always knew that Christian had a lot of love in his heart, even if he didn't believe it himself.

In the wash of his worry for Ana's safety and his fear of becoming a father, Christian fell apart and sank into my arms. He wrapped his arms around me and dropped his head onto my shoulder. It was a moment I will cherish for the rest of my life.

I am incredibly grateful for little Ted's arrival – for the unconditional love I feel for him, for seeing how Christian shed his nightmares and dotes on his son. But, most of all, I am grateful that he gave me my son. I always had Christian, from the moment he arrived in the hospital after being found next to his birth mother's body, but he was never truly mine. He wouldn't let me hold him and over the years he started to drift away from me. I stopped being his mommy and became 'mom', and later just 'mother'.

But that day, in that hospital room, I held my son for the first time. I had waited 24 years for that moment and it was sweet Ted who made it happen. He was the silver lining on an extremely dark day.

At the base of the driveway I saw the front of Christian's SUV creep into view, carefully making its way towards us. An excitable squeal flew from my lips, my arms aching for a cuddle with little Ted. Elliot snorted at my reaction but even he is fascinated with the youngest member of the family. He fell in love with his nephew the first time he set eyes on him, as did Kate. Give it a year and they will start a family of their own. I know they will make wonderful parents.

Christian's car came to a stop beside Cary's silver Mercedes and Ana quickly hopped out. Her cheeks were red and she appeared flustered, her long brown hair curled and bouncing around her shoulders.

"Grace," she breathed my name and teetered to me. She opened her arms and embraced me. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," I grinned, her vanilla based perfume shifting from her clothes to mine. "I'm so glad you're here."

"I'm sorry we're late," she apologised. "Teddy needed feeding and then he puked all over me, so I had to change."

"Oh darling, don't worry about that," I told her.

I pulled back and took in her outfit. She looked incredible in a figure-hugging sapphire dress under a knee-length navy coat, the pairing complimented her powder blue eyes. She always looked understated and elegant, no matter the occasion, a true classical beauty. It was no wonder Christian fell in love with her, she was the perfect mate for him.

I glanced past her and watched as Christian stepped out of the car and moved to the backseat, my eager eyes trying to glimpse a look at Ted. He shut the door and appeared from the side of the car, a broad grin on his lips and a sleepy baby propped against his chest.

"Look, Teddy, it's Grandma," Christian whispered, pressing a kiss to his son's forehead. He came straight to me. "Hi Mom. Merry Christmas."

I lifted up and kissed his cheek, steadying myself with a hand on his shoulder. Ted was lazing against Christian, his blue eyes struggling to stay open. My heart melted all over again.

"There's my boy," I hummed, sliding my hands under his arms and settling him against me. I smoothed kisses across his velvety cheeks. "Merry Christmas, baby boy. Oh I've missed you. Yes, I have."

"It's only been three days since you last saw him," Christian smirked, his arm instinctively wrapping around Ana's waist, his hand sitting on her hip. I shot him a look and he held up his free hand, laughing quietly. "I know, no one comes between Grandma and Teddy… Listen, why don't you and Ana head inside, get out of the cold. Elliot, can you help me unload the car?"

"Sure," Elliot jumped into action, patting his brother's shoulder as he headed for the trunk.

I carried Ted into the house, Ana hotfooting it inside ahead of us. She was accosted by Mia and Kate as soon as she entered, the three girls exchanging hugs and kisses. They were exact opposites of one another, yet made a formidable trio of stunning women. _My three daughters_. Now more so than ever, I was reminded that blood doesn't bind you together, it is love that makes a family. My heart grows each year, a chamber created for every new addition to our ever-expanding group.

"But you, little one, will always have a unique place in my heart," I whispered to Ted, nuzzling my lips against his cheeks. He was slowly waking up and I think I saw a hint of a smile on his lips. "Did you just smile for Grandma? I think you did… Gosh, you look more like your daddy every day."

"Mom!" Mia's voice called out to me. I looked up and she was shuffling on the spot, as excitable as ever. Her raven hair was longer now and neatly tucked behind her ears, swaying as she bounced from side to side. "Can we finally open our presents? I've been waiting for hours!"

I rolled my eyes and chuckled at her impatience. She is her father's daughter.

"Fine," I relented. "All of the presents are in the sitting room. Knock yourselves out… Teddy, shall we go find Grandpa and see what Santa brought you?"

He gurgled a sweet sound back to me and I followed the girls into the sitting room. They circled the tree and sought out their presents, Cary on hand to deal out the boxes. I left them to it and sat in the armchair by the fireplace, setting Ted on my knee. Cary brought over the stocking we had made for Ted, taking a moment to breathe in our grandson's beauty. Christian and Elliot joined us soon after, bringing in at least seven bags full of gifts – a sign that, yet again, Christian has spoiled us.

The room was alive with music and chatter, our cream living space transformed into an ice palace. Over the years I have learned a thing or two about decorating, adopting themes and garnering inspiration from my favourite designers. This year, however, I finally agreed to work with Cary's idea. I had been putting off his choice for several years, unsure of how it would look on a grand scale. He was set on turning the house into the inside of a snow globe. I toned down his wilder requests but I have to admit it looked pretty spectacular. The lights were tinged blue, our ornaments white and silver, icicles hanging from the tree and mantelpiece. The theme drifted from room to room, encompassing every part of the house.

(I may have cheated somewhat, hiring professional decorators to turn the house into Cary's wonderland. Between gift shopping, shifts at the hospital and spending quality time with my babies, this Mama was too tired to do anything beyond trimming the Christmas tree!)

I watched as everyone ripped into their gifts, enjoyed seeing their beaming faces and delight. Ted was spoiled by Santa, a whole bag full of books, soft toys and musical instruments. He is still so small, only seven months old, but I know he will come to love music. I have no doubt he has inherited his father's eclectic tastes.

"Oh, this one is for Teddy –" Ana said, holding up a gold box. It had mistakenly been added to her pile. I smiled, knowing what was inside it.

She shared a look with Christian, who urged her to open it. She lifted the lid and peeled back a layer of tissue paper, gasping as she unveiled the stuffed bear inside. Removing him from the box, her eyes lit up at the brown bear. His blue pyjamas were as crisp as ever, the yellow star on his paw bright and shimmery.

"Wow, it's adorable," Ana grinned. She quickly gathered to her feet and came over to me and Ted. "How cute is this bear, Teddy? Isn't he lovely?"

I fixed my gaze on Christian and watched as confusion passed through his eyes, a frown building in his eyebrows. He slowly made his way to us, tilting his head to the side.

"A teddy for Teddy," Ana laughed. She waved the bear in front of Ted's face, grabbing his attention. He smiled and grabbed the bear with his hand, squeezing the bear's nose with his fist. "Oh Grace, he loves it. Thank you."

"Is it the same bear?" Christian mumbled. He crouched at my side and tentatively stroked his fingers along the back of the bear's head, feeling its fur for the first time in years. I nodded my head. "But it can't be, can it?"

"Wait, what am I missing?" Ana mimicked Christian's frown, glancing between us.

"It's Starry," I nodded, smiling at my son. His eyes glassed over and he blinked hard, fighting back the sting of a tear threatening to fall. "Did you think we threw him in the trash? I could never throw Starry away."

"This was your bear?" Ana gasped, shocked. Christian nodded. "Oh my god… Christian, this is incredible."

"I thought you got rid of all my stuff from when I was a kid," he said, sounding breathless. "We boxed everything up, got rid of everything when I was twelve."

"You were ten," I corrected him. I turned to Ana to explain. "We had just redecorated Elliot's room and Christian demanded that we do his as well. He wanted a big boy's bedroom."

Ana rolled her lips inward and somehow restrained herself from laughing. Christian rolled his eyes, unimpressed by the details I had shared.

"We had everything put into storage, in case you changed your mind," I told him. "I didn't want to redecorate your room and then have you upset because you wanted your old things back. Last year your father and I decided to have a clear out and we came across your boxes. I found Starry and I couldn't bring myself to give him away. I had him professionally cleaned and re-stuffed, so he looks as good as new."

"You kept him," he mumbled. "It's been so long since I saw him."

Ana ran her hand up Christian's arm, silently comforting him. After a moment he finally smiled. He reached across and pressed Starry's paw, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star chiming out of the bear's chest. Ted was mesmerised by the sound and when the song was over, he clapped his hands and laughed, throwing his head back against my chest.

"He loves it," Christian chuckled. "He loves Starry as much as I did."

"Thank you, Grace," Ana said to me, her cheeks pinking with gratitude. She knew how much this meant to Christian, even if she didn't know of the bear's existence before today. She understood Christian like no one else in the world. "Now Teddy gets to share a piece of your childhood," she added, leaning her head to Christian.

"The good part," he specified. I caught his gaze and held out my hand to his face, my palm smoothing over his cheek. "I'm glad you kept him, Mom. I've missed Starry."

* * *

I dropped a pile of dirty dishes into the sink and sagged backwards against the counter, giving myself a moment's rest. I could feel my energy waning, exhaustion crashing over me like a wave. I looked forward to running myself a hot bath, a chance to test the luxury oils and lotions Mia had gifted me.

The day had been a huge success, incredible from start to finish. After exchanging gifts and a celebratory glass of fizz, we filed into the dining room for a five-course extravaganza, a team effort with everyone helping in the kitchen. Champagne flowed around the table, warming cheeks and stomachs. Ana's stepfather and Kate's brother and parents joined us for dinner, welcome guests who completed this new era of our family. It was early evening and I had just left everyone in the sitting room next door, the clan deciding to sit down and watch It's a Wonderful Life.

"Escaping the madness?"

I yanked my head towards the door and smiled, seeing Christian enter and shut the door behind him. He placed a baby monitor on the counter, an image of Ted fast asleep covering the night-vision screen.

"He settled okay then?" I nodded.

"Out like a light," he laughed. He pressed himself against the counter, joining me. He folded his arms and crossed his feet at the ankle. "Are you sure it's okay for us to stay over tonight?"

I cocked my head and gave him a look.

"This will always be your home," I reminded him. "No matter how old you are or how many children you have, your dad and I will be here, ready to welcome you with open arms."

"Thank you," he smirked and nudged his arm into my side. He lowered his head and rested it on top of mine. He sighed. "Today has been great, Mom. You really out did yourself this year."

"I barely lifted a finger," I sighed. "I hired a team to decorate the house, I had all of you helping with dinner. Even Mia and your father helped wrap the majority of the gifts I bought."

"You do more than enough every single day of your life," he protested. "Mom, you're a fucking warrior… Sorry for cursing, but it's true. I don't know how you do it. You made it look so easy when we were growing up, working a full-time job and still managing to raise the three of us."

"It was far from easy," I nodded. "But it was worth it. When you're a mother, you learn to just get on with it. It's hard work but I loved every second."

"You made sure every Christmas and birthday was special for us," he said. "Even when that buzz started to fade… which I'm pretty sure was the same time we found out Santa Claus wasn't real."

"Yeah, that revelation certainly takes some of the excitement away," I chuckled. "It was strange, having your Christmas lists addressed to me instead of Santa… Though, your list was always the least expensive." I grinned as I remembered his scratchy handwriting, barely legible. "You never asked for much."

"You already gave me everything I needed," he shrugged his shoulder. "I was grateful to have a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and two parents who cared about me. I didn't need anything else."

My eyes stung with the force of his earnest words.

He inhaled a deep breath and he let go of a small laugh.

"I always remembered what you said about Christmas, about how the buzz returns when you have kids of your own," he said, seemingly oblivious to my emotional state. "I remember Elliot complaining, saying that Christmas stopped feeling special to him. You said 'that will change one day, when you have children and they believe in magic'."

"I did say that," I smiled. "And it's true."

He nodded his head.

"You were always adamant that you would never have children," I reminded him. "You would fold your arms and say no. You would never get married and never have children."

"How the times have changed," he chuckled. "I can't imagine my life without Ana or Teddy now. They mean the world to me. I'd be lost without them."

I curled my arm around his waist and hugged him, my ear lined up with heart.

"I got that buzz back this morning," he told me. "I helped Teddy open his gifts from us and it came rushing back to me. The excitement and wonder… I know Teddy is too young to remember any of this or even take it in, but I loved seeing his face. I thought my heart was going to break in two. That boy has me wrapped around his little finger and he's only a baby!"

"Just wait until he gets older," I promised him. I lifted my head and looked up at him. "You have so much to look forward to. Make sure you cherish every minute of his childhood because it doesn't last long. Before you know it he'll be going off to college or travelling the world. They don't stay babies for long."

He nodded his head, making a silent promise to me. He pressed a kiss to my forehead and held me for a second longer. Breaking free from me, he pulled his arms back and cleared his throat. He pushed his hand into his pocket and retrieved a small black box, a white ribbon looped around it.

"I bought this for you a few months back," he said, holding the box out to me. "Actually, it was the first Christmas gift I bought."

"Oh, Christian," I sighed and shook my head. "Darling, you and Ana have given me more than enough already."

"This is from me," he replied and placed the delicate box in my palm. "It's just a little gift, I promise. To say thank you."

"What do you have to thank me for?"

"For just being yourself," he shrugged and gave me a gentle smile. "I guess it's to say thank you for welcoming me into your family. For choosing me as your son."

I bit down on my lip to stop tears from clouding my sight. I pulled the ribbon and eased off the lid. My heart caught in my throat as I discovered what was buried inside the box.

"My goodness…"

On a tiny silk cushion sat a silver pendant, a star with sparkling diamonds on each of the five points. I removed it from the box and realised that it was necklace.

"Check out the back," Christian whispered to me.

I rolled the pendant over and read the small inscription on the underside. Just two words that meant so much to the both of us.

 _Twinkle Twinkle…_

"Christian," I gulped, choking out his name. "You shouldn't have."

He took the necklace from between my shaky fingers and helped me put it on, fastening it into place.

"Beautiful," he grinned and pulled me into his arms, offering me a mammoth hug. Almost a foot taller than me, he bent his knees and dropped his chin onto my shoulder.

"I love you so much," I whimpered, closing my eyes as water streamed down my cheeks. "I am so proud of the man you have become."

"It's all because of you," he hummed. "Thank you for showing me that there is love in the world. That everyone deserves a shot at happiness."

"I think Ana should take credit for that," I protested.

"Ana has given me a lot of things," he admitted. "But you gave me a life. _A family_. For that, I am eternally grateful."

"Christian…"

"Merry Christmas, Mommy."

"Merry Christmas, my sweet boy."


End file.
